On January 22, my husband and I lost our dog. He had gotten very sick and we had to let him go. It has been hard. My husband put it best, "we were once three and now we are two...our hearts are broken".
I wish I was writing this post in better spirits, but the fact I'm writing at all is good. Each day I get up and I have to remind myself not to fill his bowl or let him out. I have to not worry about him being under my feet when I get out of bed or under the recliner when I let it down. I have to tell myself I don't have to rush home after work to see him, that I don't have to open the door slowly and worry he'll be right behind it.
I do have to remember the happiness he brought me. The funny smells he made sometimes or the way he would stare intently at you when you had something he wanted to eat, whether it be popcorn or a peach. I have to tell myself that I was lucky to get to spend so much time with him despite all his health problems. And I do have to worry that I will always be the person he thought I was - because I am a better person because of him.
Thank you Crash and I miss you.
So because baking and being productive is good for me, I baked and baked and baked. And for one day I didn't cry. Thanks to TWD for helping me bake.
This TWD recipe is the White Loaves Bread found in Baking with Julia, the recipe can be found here or in your soon to be personal copy of Baking with Julia ;) Please visit the Tuesdays with Dorie blog to find out about the group. I'm excited to be a part of this awesome adventure. I know it's going to be fun.
For this TWD recipe, I stuck to the recipe and that was very hard for me...I really wanted to throw in some cinnamon or saffron...maybe some garlic salt. But I held fast and followed the recipe down to the T. What I did do instead was to bake another bread that I went nilly willy with. I threw in a cup of walnuts and cranberries and...wait for it... a Reed's Original Ginger Beer into a French buole. Just call me crazy, well what's really crazy is that only a quarter of that loaf is left and I finished baking it yesterday at 2:00. (BTW, Reed's has a butterscotch beer, a.k.a., butterbeer!!!!!)
Speaking of Harry Potter, I also made pasties yesterday. They are filled with the traditional Cornish Pasty filling, but since Cornish Pasty has a regionally protected status, what I made was an Arkansas Pasty. I believe similar in flavor, but geographically distant.
So baking, baking and more baking did me good...not so much for my waistline...but it did help the heart.
I wish I was writing this post in better spirits, but the fact I'm writing at all is good. Each day I get up and I have to remind myself not to fill his bowl or let him out. I have to not worry about him being under my feet when I get out of bed or under the recliner when I let it down. I have to tell myself I don't have to rush home after work to see him, that I don't have to open the door slowly and worry he'll be right behind it.
I do have to remember the happiness he brought me. The funny smells he made sometimes or the way he would stare intently at you when you had something he wanted to eat, whether it be popcorn or a peach. I have to tell myself that I was lucky to get to spend so much time with him despite all his health problems. And I do have to worry that I will always be the person he thought I was - because I am a better person because of him.
Thank you Crash and I miss you.
So because baking and being productive is good for me, I baked and baked and baked. And for one day I didn't cry. Thanks to TWD for helping me bake.
This TWD recipe is the White Loaves Bread found in Baking with Julia, the recipe can be found here or in your soon to be personal copy of Baking with Julia ;) Please visit the Tuesdays with Dorie blog to find out about the group. I'm excited to be a part of this awesome adventure. I know it's going to be fun.
For this TWD recipe, I stuck to the recipe and that was very hard for me...I really wanted to throw in some cinnamon or saffron...maybe some garlic salt. But I held fast and followed the recipe down to the T. What I did do instead was to bake another bread that I went nilly willy with. I threw in a cup of walnuts and cranberries and...wait for it... a Reed's Original Ginger Beer into a French buole. Just call me crazy, well what's really crazy is that only a quarter of that loaf is left and I finished baking it yesterday at 2:00. (BTW, Reed's has a butterscotch beer, a.k.a., butterbeer!!!!!)
Speaking of Harry Potter, I also made pasties yesterday. They are filled with the traditional Cornish Pasty filling, but since Cornish Pasty has a regionally protected status, what I made was an Arkansas Pasty. I believe similar in flavor, but geographically distant.
So baking, baking and more baking did me good...not so much for my waistline...but it did help the heart.
I'm glad to hear that baking has helped. Your bread looks lovely, by the way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you lost your Crash. I know that a loss like that leaves a void. It sounds like you needed a bit of a distraction at the moment, and all your baking projects came out just beautifully.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your loss - I definitely agree that the kitchen is a great place to lose yourself in tough times.
ReplyDeleteLove the adjustments you made on your boule!
So sorry to hear about your loss. We are three also, and ours is 15 and I can't stand to think of losing her. It's nice to find places to get lost in, and your bread came out gorgeous.
ReplyDelete